Free entertainment...go to the store and listen.

Conversations I didn't intentionally listen to today at the Safeway store.
#1
Pharmacist: Every time you refill this you need to cut back on your smoking.
Some Guy: Yeah I know
Pharmacist: Did you cut back this last time?
Some Guy: Yeah, by one.
Pharmacist: One pack?
Some Guy: One cigarette
Pharmacist: Oh..(long pause)...well I guess it's still one. 


(Note: Pharmacists must not be allowed to slap the customers.)
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#2
 Bored Checker: How are you today?
Some lady: I am so exhausted. My house is a mess. You should try taking care of a three year old for three days.
 Bored Checker: Uh-uh two year olds are difficult.
Some lady:  I said three year old and they are very difficult. They get into everything. We had to go to the emergency room.
Somewhat more interested Checker: The emergency room? Someone got hurt?
Some Lady: Of course she got hurt. You know how they are!
Somewhat confused Checker: Hopefully you won't have to do that again.
Some Lady: Ha! I have to do it all the time. I'm her %$^^#* grandmother!


(Note:If visiting grandma is synonymous with visiting the emergency room, re-think your baby sitting options.)


#3 
Me to Me in my head (at least I don't think I was talking out loud): I've done so well at cutting back on snacks I think I should reward myself with some potato chips.
Me to Me: Have you learned nothing by trying every diet known to man in the last 30 years? Never reward yourself for dieting with food!
Me to Me: Just a small bag and I'll only eat a few.
Me to Me: You can't fool me!
Me to Me: Oh look the large bags are buy one get one free! Now it's all about saving money.
Me to Me: You can't fool me!
Me to Me: You can be so cranky. Here have a greasy salty snack, you'll feel much better.
Me to Me: Ah yes, greasy and salty. Just the way I like it. 
Me to Me: And you thought I couldn't fool you again!


(Note to self: You are just as bad as the cigarette guy!)